The red budget box wearily opens its eyes, blinks twice and deeply sighs. Crackles and groans on its way to the bathroom, blearily looks in the mirror. Looking its age today, 150 years of boom and bust has taken its toll on its once scarlet, now brown leather face.
As it prepares for its annual outing, one wonders what it would make of todays' "Emergency Budget". Would if feel as scared as we are should it have feelings? I imagine it cringing in the corner, "please dont take me George, take Gordon's one.. I dont want to be remembered for this"..
And why would it? "Emergency Budget".. hmmm.... What emergency? As someone wise once said.. "Where's the fire?"..
After today, Gladstone's box is to be retired and place in the Cabinet War Rooms in London. Safe and secure, protected from future harm... unlike the rest of us. God bless us everyone.